this is not a resurrection.

It's really not. It's more of a "write down my thoughts before they build up so much that my head explodes". I went through this after Max was born too. Since Fox has gotten here I've been feeling the  pressure of thoughts in my brain start to build again.

I'm a chronic over thinker, I'm sure I touched on that at some point some where in previous posts. Lately my thoughts range anywhere from "when was the last time I washed my hair" to "if God has already planned every day of our lives then where does free will come in?". I often have no answers or solutions to my thoughts. And I think that's in part because I have quit writing. So many things have happened in the last 2 years, some have been the most joyous moments of my life and some have been the hardest.

I don't think I'll do a fancy post for today, just a get my feet wet again kind of thing. After all I'm writing again for my sanity, not for anyone else's.

changes.

So obviously i've been busy lately and neglecting the ol'blog. I don't feel like I sat down much during the month of September...and now a new season is upon us and a new chapter for the Marshell's is here with it. Monday Jason starts his new job at our church. I can't wait to watch my husband do what he loves. Here's a few snap shots of September. 

I don't remember this taking this picture but I found it and I love it.

Max and I have been rolling out of bed and going on adventures all week. This was at the zoo. It was the best weather and all the animals were out. It was the first time that Max has really been into it. Oh and he thought all the animals were either dogs or Moo's (cows)

I don't often get good pictures with Max but we went to the park this week and Jason got some good pictures of me and Max! I love having little moments captured!

We got to spend a weekend with my amazing grandparents and my sister, brother and Cohen. It was a wonderful weekend. We just got to relax and spend good quality time with family.

We got to go to Gentleman of the Road. It was hot. We camped and this is us right after we woke up. Obviously we were tired and sun burnt. But it was a wonderful adventure with my love.

We made a special trip to Missouri a couple of weeks ago. Our nephew Noah broke his leg and had to have surgery. I'm so glad we were able to go. We don't get to see them near enough since they are 7 hours away. 

Yesterday we got Max a dog. Her name is Oswin and she is probably the most amazing dog we've ever owned. She listens, and she is so sweet.  

Obviously Max loves her.

Life is so good. It's got its ups and downs...but seriously..even in the downs life is just dang good.

son II

Dear Max,

You are four short months from being two. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I'm happy to tell you that since the last time I wrote you, you still still do everything I asked you to do...although your kisses have now turned into what I call "death kisses". It's basically where you try to eat my face, I always assume it's just because you love me so much.

You have changed a lot since you first turned one. We finally got tubes put in your ears after having 12 ear infections. You are already showing so much progress in your speech. I'll give you a couple of examples:

1. About a week after your procedure you were doing something goofy. I can't really remember what you were doing but I looked at you and said, "Son you've got issues" to which you looked at me with a huge ornery smile and said, "Issues". You walked around the house for the next five minutes saying it. I felt slightly proud that you repeated what I said. And then I realized it was now time to watch what I say. (By the way I don't think you have issues. I was just teasing you.)

2. You're dad and I were having a serious conversation last night, about adult things like money, insurance, blah blah blah...you were sitting in between us eating your Ramen (Yes, I feed my child Ramen. He's a picky eater but loves noodles. Judge me if you must.), I looked over at your dad and said, "It'll be alright." You quickly stood up, crossing your arms and then reaching them as high as you could like you were making a rainbow shape  with them and said, "is allllllright". I think both your dad and I were fighting back tears. You will never comprehend how much we needed someone else to tell us that it was going to be alright. We just never thought it would be our 20 month old son.

You are such an incredible child. I haven't run into a person yet that doesn't fall in love with you. Matter of fact your favorite teacher in nursery says you're her favorite. We will pick you and ask her how you were and she will say, "He's just Max. I love him." I love knowing that you are loved by more than you mom and dad.

Lately I feel like we butt heads more often than not. Literally and figuratively. Literally because you are in a head butting stage. You actually gave me a black eye not to long ago that took 2 weeks to heal. Figuratively because you are incredibly strong willed. We battle the no hitting issues, you definitely already have the want to do things your way. Don't worry we will make it through the "terrible twos". It may take tears from both of us and lots of time out, but we'll get through it.

I'm sorry that it's hard to understand what is "right" sometimes. Heck I'm 24 and I still have to battle what is really "right" sometimes. Just be patient with me. And I'll be patient with you. Don't stop giving me death kisses and tackle hugs. Mommy really needs those.

I love you son. So so much more than you will ever know.

-Mom

Your daddy was really worried about you when you "got your new ears". He's a really really good daddy. 

You LOVE my guitar. You pretty much strum better than I can. Also, please start wearing clothes more. You have mastered the art of undressing and throwing your diaper in the air. Let's keep that down to a minimum.

We've been going to the zoo a lot, we don't last long. But your daddy and I love taking you. So far your favorite thing is the goats. You also think everything is a dog.

husband.

5 years ago (on the 12th) I met my husband after a long Wednesday night shift at Starbucks he was there on the patio. I remember that I thought he was really cute, so I kept trying to give him and his friends free drinks. After that night I noticed him coming into the cafe more often and began to get my flirt on.

Little did I know we would be married 9 months later (yea that was fast I know).

I love how this man loves me. I love how he tries to protect my heart in hard situations. I love how we can laugh together and do stupid things that no one else would understand. I love that we are honest with each other and with anyone else about how hard marriage was and can still be some days. I could go on and on and on and on...

But the thing about my husband that is sticking out to me most right now is how he tries to protect my heart. I love how when I don't understand things or people he helps me look at different sides of things. He always tries to help me work through things and does it in such a tender way. He just has this way of letting me talk things through without interjecting until the perfect moment. Tuesday he sent me this video and let me know he was thinking about me when he heard it. Yet another reason why he's so dreamy....

Sorry if this is rambly...just super thankful for my man.

Cohen.

Dear Cohen,

 I'll never forget when your mom told me she was pregnant with you. We had waited so long to hear the words "We are pregnant" from your parents. I was immediately excited. Your mom and dad longed for the day they would get that little positive sign on a pregnancy test. It didn't seem like your mom was carrying you very long before you surprised us with your entry into the world. There was so many emotions surrounding that day. It was a day that I can play back so vividly in my mind even though its now been three years. I remember waiting for work to be over so I could make my way to see you in your little incubator. I remember the first time your tiny little hand wrapped around my finger. I remember your mom sending me updates constantly while you were still in the hospital. I remember the first time I got to hold you, I just stared at you and cried tears of joy that you were here. 

It has been the neatest thing watching you grow from 2 lbs 7 oz to a now 35 lb rambunctious three year old. I've loved watching you with Max. It's so fun to watch how you two interact. You are always over the moon excited to see your "Mac". I know we don't make it out near enough to see you and mom but FaceTime has to be the best invention of all time. You two are so funny making faces and yelling at each other. I just want to say thanks for always reminding those around you to not take life so seriously. That its perfectly fine to do a little jig whenever and wherever you hear music. 

Now that I've had Max I totally get your mom's "momma bear" mentality. Watching her with you has definitely eased some of my first time mom fears. You have some seriously amazing parents. I love seeing the different things you bring out in them. 

I can't wait to see what you do when you get older. Whatever it is, I know it's ping to be amazing. I love you so much.

- Aunt T

monday.

Here is a current obsession of mine. This lady is just so talented. 

Also, I really wish I could pull of those pants...


plus I found my old myspace......oh how life has changed!!

Sunday.

I love art time with Jason and Max. Jason is one of the most creative people I know. I love the pictures he doodles for Max. He is actually working on a book for Max right now and it is amazing. I am so lucky to be able to do life with my best friend. He is such a wonderful father to Max.  Here is my current favorite one:

I mean seriously, how amazing is this man.

Max loves markers & pens, he hates crayons. We literally take 5 baths a day.

Max is also currently obsessed with shark week.